The Lonely Kings
What If? (Fearless)
by Marc Hirsh

never published

This review was intended as a joke! Read the actual review!

Did you ever play "What If?" when you were a kid? I used to play that all the time! If the world seemed unfair (like if your brother wouldn't let you watch your TV shows, that was the worst!), you could always make believe that things were better, just by playing "What If?" What if I was a superhero, like Batman, flying around the city and catching bad guys while bullets bounced off my chest? That would be awesome! What if I was a world-famous heart doctor, and my skills were all that were keeping the richest man in town alive? He'd have to give me a pretty big reward for saving his life, wouldn't he?

The Lonely Kings must have played "What If?" too. That's okay, though, because they rock! They've got a great name, too. It's like they're kings, but they're pretty lonely at the same time. It makes you think that maybe being rich and powerful isn't everything. It also makes me think of Elvis, who was the King, of course. I hear he was pretty lonely. Did you know that he and Priscilla had split by the time he died? That's pretty sad. Maybe if they stayed together, he might be alive today. But that's another game of "What If?," I guess.

Anyway, Jake, Jason and Jesse put together a kick-ass record of rock the way it was meant to be: loud and rockin'! Plus, their names all start with the same letter! How cool is that? It's pretty cool, and so is What If? You should totally buy this record, because it's great! Plus, then they'd get rich and popular, and the guys deserve it. So buy What If? by the Lonely Kings, and just maybe you'll be in the mood to play "What If?" again. I know I am.

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