This Weekend: Rock Out in New Caney With Jason Derulo, Vanilla Ice, & The Tontons

Okay, so do you remember when I said there’s practically a music festival every other weekend for the next few months? Well, it’s actually closer to every weekend. We’ve got the ever-amazing Madness on Main coming up, and Love Street Music Fest (Lewis Del Mar, hell, yeah!), and then FPSF, as previously noted right here, and I’m probably missing a few others in there, too.

Of course, a little closer in time, there’s this weekend, Friday, May 12th, and Saturday, May 13th. No, I’m not talking about Comicpalooza, although it’s awesome, and freaking Helstar will be playing, and I will get to high-five(?) the awesome Caity Lotz. I’m talking about something, well, almost a bit weirder.

Because yes, this weekend is also the Rock the Ranch Music Festival, out at the Valley Ranch Town Center in the north Houston ‘burbs of New Caney (technically, it’s a little bit south of New Caney proper, closer to Porter on 59/69, but y’know). Now, I’ll admit that I don’t know much about that part of the greater Houston area — living down here on the southwest side like I do, I tend to stay relatively close to home, and anything out past the airport is way beyond my general stomping grounds.

But hey, so what? I may not head that way real often, but a whole lot of people do live out that direction, and they currently get pretty much stiffed by any music festivals that roll through our fair city — those tend to be very central, which means a long-ass drive for Northsiders.

So it’s very, very cool to see this new festival come around; folks up north deserve to have their own thing. Plus, it sounds like fun, with music, street performers, motocross, people selling stuff, barbecue, and camping for those who are, y’know, into those things…

Where it gets a little strange is in the mishmash of people in the lineup. The Rock the Ranch folks bill their festival as “New Caney’s Newest and Largest Top 40 Festival,” which is a bit bizarre — are there actually other festivals out in New Caney? If so, somebody please let me know about ’em — but seemingly factually accurate. Because they’ve pulled together a bunch of folks who otherwise probably wouldn’t cross paths, I guess based on the whole “Top 40” thing.

Tonight (Friday, that is), for example, the headliner is R&B crooner Jason Derulo, but he’s playing alongside heavy-on-the-cheekbones Oklahoma rocker dudes The All-American Rejects and local country musician (he’s from Porter) and American Idol contestant/The Voice winner Sundance Head.

Saturday‘s got Head on the bill, as well, but this time the headliner is rapper Flo Rida, who I actually like a fair bit, local Christian hip-hop guy Lecrae, about whom I’ve heard really good things, and, um, fully half of the chart-topping rap/R&B acts you remember from the ’90s, all in one big package called I Love The 90’s that includes Vanilla Ice (eh.), Salt N Pepa (yeah!), Color Me Badd (um…really?), Tone Loc (alright, sure…), and Young MC (hell, yeah!).

As an added bonus, one of my absolute favorite bands from here or anywhere, H-town’s own psych-soul outfit The Tontons will also be playing both today and tomorrow, which is badass to see. If somebody could arrange an Asli Omar cameo with, say, Flo Rida, and, hell, maybe Young MC, all on the same stage, wouldn’t that’d be great? Yes, it would. Can we get that done, people? C’mon, let’s live the dream, y’all.

Anyway, like I said, it’s kind of a kooky mashup, but I’m liking it all the same — variety is something I’ve been sorely missing in music festivals of late, so I’m completely down with it. The more disparate and strange, the better, as far as I’m concerned. Keep New Caney Weird, folks…