The Ultra Siberian Pant Factory, Omniumgatherum

This band must really hate writers. How else can you explain naming your band “The Ultra Siberian Pant Factory”? Length and depth of syllables aside, the inclusion of “Pant” and not “Pants,” like it should be, is a mother-humper. Then, on top of it all, the band names their album Omniumgatherum. What the fuck is that? Do they realize how many times an album title is used in a typical review? Well, I can tell you in this review it’ll only be once, and you just saw it.

Trying to define USPFx — that’s the acronym they use, although I hear they’ve since shortened the band name to just “The Pant Factory” — is as difficult as divining how they chose their name. The band’s sound is best described as a souped-up combination of Dream Theater and Every Time I Die; just think of the most insanely progressive bunch of metalcore guys you could ever hope to meet, and you’ll be right there.

What makes this band so good is that they eschew the “look at me” masturbatory leanings of a typical progressive band. While the band members do play their asses off and have skills that are unparalleled, every note seems to fit the song in which it’s played. Guitarist George Heathco is beyond phenomenal. While he does show a Steve Vai or Joe Satriani influence, he also mixes in the sounds of modern acts like math-metallers Dillinger Escape Plan. His backing members are no slouches, either. Both drummer Gus Alvarado and bassist Jack Gordon do a remarkable job in providing a solid foundation for the song while showcasing their own proficiency, as well.

The lone drawback is singer Benjamin Cunningham. I’m sure that he is a nice guy and calls his mother once a week, but his vocals are very off-putting. Most of the time he comes across like a bad Corey Taylor. His growls are far from menacing and about as intimidating as a Twilight fan club meeting, and unfortunately, his clean vocals are about as good. He doesn’t seem to possess the ability to hit a nice high note — whenever he does, it sounds like he’s struggling. I don’t mean to pick on Mr. Cunningham, but his performance detracts from what his bandmates are playing. On a couple of the tracks, his voice sounds a lot better, so maybe this CD was recorded over a period of time where he was able to progress.

All in all, USPFX has released a very interesting record; it’s so well-played that you discover new things every time you hear it.