The Dagger Brothers, You Don’t Have to Be Mad to Be in The Dagger Brothers but It Does Help

About halfway through this album, I came to the conclusion that it must be a joke. I certainly hope this wasn’t a serious musical venture. I advise The Dagger Brothers to return the Casios they used for both the drum and the synth tones for the album to the 1980s yard sale where they found them.

Dear Dagger Brothers: you are stuck in the ’80s, trying desperately to replicate either Depeche Mode or Tears For Fears (and failing). The vocals are completely comical, as well — one singer sounds like an out-of-key Adam Green, while the other sounds like Right Said Fred. All of these songs (especially the first, “Sean Ross”) sound like B-sides to the Ghost Busters soundtrack.

In spite of all of this, the worst part is the lyrics: take “Wash your mouth and wash your body / smells like Red Bull,” and the unforgettable “I had sex last night / I got your text last night.” I really suspect, because of both the performance and the actual lyrics themselves, that The Dagger Brothers came up with the words off the top of their heads while on copious amounts of drugs in the recording studio. Unfortunately, that doesn’t make up for the fact that as I listen to this sad, sad display, I can actually feel my IQ plummeting: “He wore a hat over his hat / He wore gloves over his gloves / He wore two pairs of everything.”

But, in a final effort not to entirely condemn the two British-looking pharaohs on the cover, I am going to assume that this is a satire making fun of bad electronic music, which for some reason is more popular than the good kind. The only other good thing I have to say about this is that the chorus to “Do You Remember The 80’s” is actually pretty upbeat and catchy; even still, I defy anyone to put this album into regular circulation.

Honestly, I really tried to enjoy this CD, but I found myself too preoccupied with feeling embarrassed for the Brothers. Let me put it this way: listening to this album was like watching America’s Funniest Home Videos; you just feel sorry for the guy who keeps accidentally hitting himself in the groin with a wiffle-ball bat while the nation watches and laughs. Thank God none of these songs is longer than two minutes and forty-five seconds and that most never venture further than a minute and a half.

I whole-heartedly believe that the only time I will ever find myself taking this CD out of the case again is to show friends how hilarious it is. If you’re looking for good music, look the other direction, but if you’re looking for a cheap laugh at probably the cheesiest thing you’ve ever heard, The Dagger Brothers’ You Don’t Have to Be Mad to Be in The Dagger Brothers but It Does Help is just what you are looking for.