Miller, Complete Buffoonery

Mike Miller says in his bio that he sounds like “They Might Be Giants, Biz Markie, The Rentals, and Atom and his Package, with a punk edge…and please don’t say Weird Al.” Well, sorry, Mr. Miller, you kind of forced my hand, after listening to Complete Buffoonery. You sound like Weird Al.

Actually, on second thought, I’m wrong. You don’t sound like Weird Al. Weird Al is somewhat witty and creative with his song parodies, and you write all original music. Weird Al can play the accordion, you use synthesizers. And here’s the kicker to this statement: Weird Al is, on occasion, actually funny.

That last part may be a point of contention for many who would read this, but I’m sure we can agree on one thing — Mike Miller, though he tries his gosh diddly darndest to be, is not funny. Oh, damn, I’m wrong again. He would be funny, but only to kids in junior high school.

With songs like “Hirschsprung’s Disease,” which is about experiencing a hypertrophic anus, and “Domino’s Blows,” which sounds like a high school punk band trying to be political, I was left staring at my car stereo, wondering who in their right mind would actually find this funny. Then I found myself wanting those 38 minutes of my life back.

What gets me about this is that his lyrics are definitely written by a well-read wordsmith, so to resort to that low bar of comedy just confuses the hell out of me. I have to be honest about that last statement, however. Up until five minutes ago, I didn’t know what he was singing through about half of his songs, because my ear could not get past the fact that he was tone deaf. That fact plays into the only time that I laughed while listening to this album.

During “Missing Him, Missing Limb,” after he butchers the sound waves coming out of his throat, a female singer by the name of Alyssa Ashner, is heard, singing purposely off-key. At least, I hope it’s on purpose, because if not, she’s singing at a key that I think only aliens have heard about prior to this record. The point being, I’m sure they were trying to be funny with this move. And it was, but only because they didn’t need to add it. Miller’s notes did the job already.

I will be fair, though, and say that if you can get past the immature humor and Miller’s off-key impression of the aforementioned polka celebrity, his synth work is actually pretty good. I find myself humming some of the riffs he pulls off to this day, and he actually had a good idea to be experimental with the song “Windshield Wiper.” Which is just that — he actually found a way to write a song where the main percussion track is the sound of a cars wiper blades running across the windshield.

All in all, however, this record is not worth the ten bucks on iTunes. Miller’s attempts to be witty and humorous end up coming across as idiotic and annoying. His prowess on the keys is evident, but he really should be looking for a band that will ban him from singing. I think Weird Al has nothing to worry about.