The Cringe, Tipping Point

Oh, baby, this is one hot smoking turd of an album. First of all, the press release for this “rock and roll” band touts the lead singer’s (John Cusimano’s) credentials as being “husband of talk show host Rachael Ray.” That is so punk rock. Wanna taste of the super-sweet lyrics? Here you go (this is from “Undone”):

Staring at the paint dry sitting on a red eye
Wishing I was home alone
Stretching in the aisle fly another mile
Drinking till I’m good and stoned

WOW!!!! That is some deep shit, right there. Reminds me of early Bruce Springsteen. It really highlights just how hard John Cusimano’s life must be. I imagine after Rachel gets home and cooks him a big plate of pan-seared sea bass, John and the boys like to hang around the Olympic-size pool (while fellating themselves) and wrack their brains as to what their next album should be about. War? Death? Workin’ for a livin’? Pan-seared sea bass? It’s gotta be a hard gig.

My only question is: what fucking A&R guy, upon hearing “the husband of Rachel Ray wants to talk to you about a rock album he wants to make,” responds, “umm, okay?” The only redeeming qualities of this album are the uproariously (and unintentionally) bad lyrics and the photo of the band looking like total pole-smokers. Yes, indeed — you will cringe.