State of Ohio, State of Ohio

This CD made me want to punch myself in the face. There’s nothing in this little piece of plastic that remotely resembles anything new. I’ve heard this speak/yell aggro-punk stuff before in countless previous bands — Hot Water Music, Jawbreaker, etc. Honestly, I started laughing when the second song came on. I mean, I don’t want to be a dick or anything, but these guys should probably go get a degree or something and hang it up. Hasn’t Ohio suffered enough?

Anyway, the pamphlet that came with the CD instructs you to give it to someone else if you didn’t like it. So I gave it to this homeless guy in front of my apartment. When I came home later that day, I saw him punching himself in the face. Then his buddy punched him in the face just on principle. Then I punched both of them in the face and we all started laughing. Then I shaved off my eyebrows and loudly proclaimed, “There is no God!” Whoa — where am I?