The Plot to Blow Up the Eiffel Tower, INRI

If this single for “INRI” is any indication of who The Plot to Blow up the Eiffel Tower is, and if this is an example of what Art Fag records is going to put out, then I am confident in saying that nobody is going to care about either.

Having never heard of the group before, this single did not make me in any way interested to check out either of their previous full-lengths. The song “INRI” is a boring midtempo tune with lame wannabe Blood Brothers vocals and lyrics. The group’s press kit quotes Blender as saying, “The Plot has more tempo changes and snotty attitude than most punk bands can fit into a career.”

I find this extremely farfetched, considering that the song “INRI” does not contain a single tempo change. When I think of tempo changes, I think of The Dillinger Escape Plan, Converge, and the aforementioned Blood Brothers. This band wishes it could play like those bands. The only thing I could think of is that maybe the live performance that Blender witnessed at SXSW boasted a bunch of flailing about and talking shit to the crowd like they know something.

I could check out some of The Plot’s other material to see if it is any better, but any band that puts out a single of a boring song like this deserves to go unnoticed. The press kit also claims that Alternative Press referred to the band as “one of the top 100 bands to know in 2005.” I’m surprised that the magazine was able to put together 100 bands to know last year; does anyone open that magazine anymore? Cause I don’t.

Maybe I’m being a little hard on The Plot, but I really thought that it was a terrible song, and I haven’t even mentioned the second track, “Boys Keep Swinging,” which is a failed attempt at covering a David Bowie classic. Bowie is probably rolling over in his grave — oh, wait, he’s not dead… The third track on the single is a remix of the title track, and is also my favorite cut because of the breakbeat…until it doesn’t change for the whole song and gets boring.

That’s enough; this band is garbage, and their Website is, too. Hell, they’ve even affected my game — I had the disc on repeat while playing NBA Ballers, and I kept losing.