Mika Miko, C.Y.S.L.A.B.F.

C.Y.S.L.A.B.F. reminds me of all those times I used to play on the neighborhood rope swing during sweltering summers as a kid. I would make a running dash and jump onto this ratty rope before landing in a wide, grassy ditch filled with grimy filth we believed was water. At times, I would chicken out and dangle on the rope instead of letting go, which resulted in my ass smashing onto a tree knot that jutted out the side of the ditch. This would always pain my bum terribly, but I would keep on swinging.

It’s kind of like that.

On their first full-length album, Mika Miko somehow manage to pack thirteen amphetamine-drenched songs into just under twenty-one minutes. The band’s comprised of five typical American women (Kate Hall, drums; Jessica Clavin, bass; Jenna Thornhill, vocals/sax/keys; Michelle Suarez, guitar/keys; and Jennifer Clavin, vocals/guitar/keys) who like their nookie, despise clothing labels that demand that women adhere to their size requirements, and can’t stand the sight of widow’s peaks, as it looks too Dracula-ish…which can actually be quite sexy if you’re into that sort of thing, which Mika Miko isn’t.

The entirety of C.Y.S.L.A.B.F. plays like it’s being performed live in a dark, hole-in-the-wall venue, but without all those emo types with their sad hair and too-loud “I’m smarter than thou” proclamations. Thornhill and Clavin’s voices are drowned out by their instruments but are in no way washed away; their words ramble together into an amalgam of incoherent sputters. I absolutely cannot make out what these women are saying ninety-five percent of the time, but who cares? They sound cool, and besides, you can look up the lyrics in their liner notes, if you are so inclined. C.Y.S.L.A.B.F. is punk music, despite what their promoter says. It’s loud, raucous noise and, like a mud-slide, the music is splish-splashy and sloppy as hell. “Capricorinations” and “Take It Serious” could be the album’s singles (provided it plays on college radio, that is). “Don’t Shake It Off” features sax playing à la Naked City, and “The Dress” sounds like Suarez is playing an electric samisen. On “Oh, Head Spin!,” Mika Miko are too cool for school: “If I gave a care about your theories / I would have gone to college.”

Mika Miko is loud, fast, and totally no-bullshit. Listen to it once — you might not dig. Give it three tries, instead. It’s not like you can’t spare an hour.