Various Artists, Masters of Horror Original Soundtrack

Did anyone catch that miniseries on Showtime called Masters of Horror? If the answer’s “no,” well, it was a showcase of thirteen one-hour original horror films, each directed by a different classic director (John Carpenter, Dario Argento, John Landis, etc.). The current de facto rule in Hollywood is that virtually all new horror movies must have soundtracks that consist of heavy metal music — Masters of Horror abides.

While the two-disc set does have a few good tunes, the soundtrack mostly contains repetitive alt-metal. The majority of the bands that appear on the record, like Norma Jean, It Dies Today, and From Autumn to Ashes, follow a simple songwriting formula: beat the bass drum(s) at a deadly pace, put a layer of loud yet simple guitars and an even simpler bassline on top, and finish it off with a scratchy scream similar to that of a pre-pubescent boy.

But fear not, fellow readers, because there is an exit ladder from the abyss, and it comes in the form of decent tracks by Shadows Fall (“This Is My Own”), Mudvayne (“Small Silhouette”), In Flames (“Discover Me Like Emptiness”), and the ever-unique Buckethead (“We Are One,” featuring Serj Tankian). Live tracks from Mastodon (“Megalodon”) and Avenged Sevenfold (“Beast and the Harlot”) also provide emergency exits. The album’s primary savior, however, is “End Of The Road,” a long acoustic ballad by Murder By Death — it’s this song that will prevent this album from being doomed by cynical critics.